The Noodle Game: The Last Straw
by ShaggyDiz
Summary: #2 - First the X-Men, now Gohan. A one-shot in which the torture is quite unimaginable... or is it? *One-shot, SI, OOC*


Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Ball Z.  Simple.  If I did, worse things would happen to them.

Author's notes: Welcome all to another marvelous adventure of 'The Noodle Game'!  What?  'The Noodle Game' you ask?  Well, it's quite simple.  There was this little story I did back a little while ago called 'The Noodle Game', where I inflicted mass torture on the X-Men.  I effectively chewed them up and spit them out.  I plan on writing a sequel to that story, taking the X-Treme X-Men team and doing the same thing.  This one-shot here really doesn't do that, but the difference between my 'Noodle Game' series and other torture stories is that I find myself to have this unique brand of humor.  Not everyone will get it.  Hell, some of you might find this utterly dumb and repulsive.  I sure do.

One thing you must realize is that you shouldn't take this seriously.  If you do, then, well, I don't know.  I really don't care how you people want to review this: good, bad, flame, whatever.  This is for the pure fun and enjoyment of it all.  It was also an idea I had sticking with me for a while, and I decided to write it out.  And here it is.

Don't worry; I'll try to get to my other stories as well.

* * *

The Noodle Game: The Last Straw

A one-shot by ShaggyDiz

* * *

                He woke up slowly, taking in the fresh mountain air through his open window.  He sat up and stretched, getting the blood flowing in his veins.  He sighed though, knowing it was going to be another long day.

                For he was the half-Saiyan known as ShaggyDiz, and it was only yesterday, in which he had saved the universe yet again from yet another evil infestation.  It was with the use of his Super Saiyan Three powers that he successfully completed that job.

                But today was a new day, and with that, he needed to get going and defeat another threat.  ShaggyDiz didn't know what this threat was, but he was sure that, whenever it did show up, his Super Saiyan Four powers would successfully stop it.  Before that though, he needed to go to school.

                "Ah, school," he said, making his way to the shower.  "I wonder what trouble I'll cause today."  It was only a few days ago – he can't remember exactly – in which he had gone and made a fool out of Vegeta again, because quite frankly, that was the best thing to do.  He had hoped to steal Bulma from him, but that proved to be too problematic.

                "That bitch is truly devoted to that short ass monkey," he muttered, splattering shampoo on his hair.  He was disappointed that he couldn't get Bulma, but he knew there were others.  Oh yes… there were others.  ShaggyDiz turned off the shower and proceeded to get dressed.

                He made his way back to the living room after getting dressed.  It was strange how he had gotten here.  He built this house with his own two hands in the middle of nowhere, and was glad he did.  ShaggyDiz was an orphan, or rather, he ran away from home, thus making him an orphan.  He landed himself in a bunch of homes before running away from them for good, living his life out in the countryside.  He accomplished his Super Saiyan Seven powers through some means of magic, and afterwards, he started going everywhere and doing good things, like saving the universe from some rather mean infestations.  He was the strongest Saiyan, full blooded or half blooded.  No one could defeat him.

                Simply put, he was the best.

                "Time for school," he said, going outside of his little house.  He still had to think of something fun to do today, and he knew it had to involve Gohan.  He hadn't met the teen thus far, so today was the first time he was going to meet him.  He had heard of some of the things he had done, like defeat the android known as Cell, or receive a massive power up through training with the Elder Kai.

                "His Mystic powers are no match for my Super Saiyan Nine powers though," ShaggyDiz said, smirking.  Then he knew of what he had to do.

                "Perfect!" he shouted.  "Gohan is going to get the biggest embarrassment of his life today!"  He shot off into the sky, doing flips and cartwheels, happy with what his mind was calculating right now.

                "Now," he started, "maybe I'll get Dende to help me.  Well wait… he has to be drunk on something to help.  That was he'd be truly screwing up Gohan's life.  Maybe I'll give him some vodka, or a coke with rum.  I'll think of something.

                "But for Gohan… what to do.  I know!  I'll do something like sending him with his class Capsule Corp, or to Satan's house.  Now that'll be a blast!"  Oh yes, ShaggyDiz was smiling inside.  He knew he couldn't go wrong.  He'd get the principal to write out some permission slips, and then give them to the students to take them home.

                "But wait… I want to do this today."  So he went back into thought, only to come out of it a moment later.  "I know!  I'll use my Super Saiyan Fourteen powers in conjunction with my Instant Transmission technique and deliver them all in a millisecond, and then force the parents to sign them immediately, and then use my powers to bring them back to school just in time to see Gohan cringe!  Genius!" he cried out.

                But ShaggyDiz realized that to do all of this, he had to get to school first.  So using his Super Saiyan Eighteen powers, he quickly flew the rest of the way to Orange Star High School.  He saw it coming into view and slowed up, realizing that he had more time than he thought.  He landed on the roof, turning out and sensing where Gohan was at this time.  He felt him several miles away, getting Videl.

                "Ah, Videl.  I forgot about her," he said.  "Hmm… after I send Gohan and his class to wilderness camp – and embarrass him greatly mind you – I will whisk away his girlfriend, taking her to a secluded spot in the forest where I will make mad love to her and make her mine.  Oh yes!  Perfect!" he cried out again.

                He really did forget about Videl though.  How could he though?  She was the hottest of the hot, despite what she dressed in everyday.  How Gohan bagged a babe like her befuddled him.  He had to do something about it, and now he knew.  In conjunction with his Super Saiyan Twenty-Two powers, he would teleport into the future, grab Mirai Trunks – and maybe Pan too – and return here, using them to cause endless pain and displeasure while he did the deed to Videl.  He laughed loudly and ecstatically.

                "I forgot about Eighteen too.  She's a babe as well," he said.  Just then, he came up with a rather perverted thought, one that pleased him mightily.  "Videl, Eighteen, and I… now that is just crazy.  I get to make love to two hotties, and then watch them do it!  Hells yet!"

                And then he saw Gohan.  Out in the distance, he spotted his prey.  He was flying in with his girlfriend Videl.  "Finally.  You, Son Gohan, will face my wrath."  And then he laughed loudly.

                Slowly, he looked up and saw the couple make their final approach.  He noticed nothing wrong until he saw the sun being blocked out.  He thought nothing of it.  "Clouds," he said.  He crossed his arms, grinning madly.  But then, he noticed the darkness getting bigger around him.  He finally noticed his problem.  Looking to his left, he saw the ledge, or what should have been the ledge.  Instead, it was a wall.

                "What the hell?" he muttered.  He looked up again.  The last thing ShaggyDiz saw was Gohan's foot coming down onto the roof.

                **CRUNCH!**

                "Holy shit!" Gohan said, picking up his foot.  He looked down, seeing some strange looking thing writhing in agony.  Videl looked down as well, confused about what he cried about.

                "Fuck, Gohan!  You know your mom will have a fucking kitten when she hears you curse like that!" Videl yelled.

                "Aw, man.  You won't tell my mom, promise?"  He used his patented puppy eyes to try to sway Videl his way.

                "Fuck.  Not the puppy eyes.  Okay you crybaby, you win."  He started hopping up and down, cheering ecstatically.

                "Oh thank you Videl!  I'm so glad that you decided not to tell my mom!"

                "Yeah, yeah.  Whatever.  Now come on, I don't want to be late."  Gohan looked down at his watch.

                "But Videl, we're already late," he said.

                "Shit, we are?"  She thought silently to herself for a second.  "Oh well.  Let's go inside.  At least we'll be in time for second period."

                "But homeroom just started Videl.  Why did you say second?"

                "Because I want to find a closet and have a nice good fuck, okay?!" she yelled at him, causing him to tremble away.

                "O-okay… Videl," he said.

                "Good.  Now come on, I'm getting horny just thinking about it."

                "Yes ma'am."  And off they went, doing something that could quite possibly get them suspended.  But they didn't care, or rather, Videl didn't care.  She was doing good enough as it is, and so was Gohan.  She figured, 'Why not?'

                Behind them, the sprawling mass on the floor known as ShaggyDiz realized that his day was effectively over, and that his Super Saiyan Thirty-Three powers didn't help him.  "Oh well," he said, "sucks to be me right now."  And he passed out, overwhelmed by the pain.

The end.

* * *

Well, what did you think?  I had wanted to try and end Gohan torture as we know it, but failed horribly, as shown here.  I got the idea of a self-insert from another story.  It was pretty funny, now that I remember.

Please review ^^


End file.
